Monday, December 15, 2014

Lost by, Jasmine


Steve Steven is just an ordinary 21 year old.  He works in a coffee shop in which he really does not enjoy.  He’s only working there because he sees this girl Olgah Robin.  In his eyes she’s perfect.  Eyes like pearls, body like an hour glass, and hair like threads of gold.  But they barley talk.  Mainly because they don’t need to, to do their job.  Olgah works at the registers while Steve works in the stock room.  Steve is thinking about speaking to Olgah tomorrow.  He chose tomorrow so he could dress nice, smell as good as flowers, and figure out what to say too her before then.  
It’s early in the morning.  Birds are chirping, wind is blowing, and leaves are falling.  It’s beautiful outside.  As Steve gets up he goes in the bathroom to brush his teeth.  While he’s brushing his teeth he thinks about what he’s going to wear.  He’s not sure.  He doesn’t know if he should dress casual or in a suit.  He decides to do a combination of both, a button down shirt with jeans.  He’s only going to a coffee shop, but he wants to look good when talking to Olgah. 
As he walks to work all he can think about is talking to Olgah.  He contemplates on what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. 
He arrives at the coffee shop 15 minutes later and see’s Olgah already there at the registers.  He starts to get a little nervous and wonder what if she’s a mean person? or she doesn’t like me?  Or something goes wrong?  But he tries to keep calm and he thinks about what he’s going to say one more time.  Then he walks over to her. 
“Hi, what’s your name?” He says.
“Hey, I’m Olgah, How about you?” She asks.
“I’m Steve, I see you around the job a lot but we’ve never talked.”
They continue talking, just stating more about themselves but soon they have to part because of their different jobs in the store.  Steve manages to get Olgah’s number and a compliment on his outfit.  The beginning of his day was a success. 
All day while Steve is doing his job, he just can’t stop thinking about Olgah.  He thought about her silvery voice, her angelic appearance, and all the stuff he managed to learn about her.  The one thing he learned about her that had stayed on his mind all day is the fact that she’s single.  He could possibly have a chance with her.  He really likes Olgah.  He wants to go out with her so he tries to text and talk to her every day, as much as possible.
***
Steve’s dream had become reality.  He and Olgah started dating one month ago.  For their one month anniversary they had planned a dinner date.  They decided to go to this beautiful restaurant called “Fleur de Lis”. When they arrived, this guy in a black suit held the door open as they walked in.  Ice sculptures greeted them.  When they were put at their table, the chair was like sitting on a cloud and the chandelier glistened above them with diamonds hanging.  Steve at first was a little nervous.  Wondering inside what to say, how to say it, and once again when to say it.  He was used to talking to her, it was just that this was such a fancy place that he couldn’t mess anything up.  He wanted their date to be just like the place, perfect. 
Their food was wonderful and they had lots of fun but now it all came down to one thing. As we all know, couples argue over the stupidest things.  So of course while they’re at this fancy restaurant they argue about who’s paying the bill?
“Since I’m a gentleman I shall be paying the bill.” He says.
“But I want to! “ She says.
“Well that’s not my problem because I’m going to pay the bill!”
  Now of course Steve’s intention was to pay the bill but one thing he learned about Olgah is that she’s very demanding. 
This argument continues on and on until Steve can’t take it anymore because this is not the first time they had argued over something stupid.  He gets up and just walks out.  He yells back, “There, now you can pay the bill”.
Steve proceeds to the Bar across the street where he drinks to relieve his stress.  He wonders what Olgah is thinking and doing right now.  He’s very depressed because he loved this girl and didn’t realize how crazy she was.  He continues drinking and literally drinks the night away.

Next thing you know he’s in the hospital.  He got into an accident where his car was all damaged and so is all his stuff including his cell phone.  He was drunk driving.  He woke up in the hospital and could not remember a thing.  Steve has amnesia.  He can’t remember the date he had went on with his girlfriend.  He can’t remember the fight he got into with her that made him drink.  In fact he can’t remember Olgah at all.  All he knows is that something is missing.  He can feel it in him he just can’t remember to figure it out.   His phone could possibly help him figure it out but that’s gone and so is everything in his car.  Steve is lost.  

9 comments:

  1. Natalie- You show imagery when you describe Olgah. For example, "Eyes like pearls, body like an hour glass, and hair like threads of gold"(Brooks), shows Olgah' apearance rather than telling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your story was really good, and i really like how you built up the character and suspension at the beginning simultaneously. Your story 'tis lit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love how you didn't end your story with a happy ending. I also love that you didn't make their relationship perfect. I wonder how did Olgah feel about his amnesia. I also wonder if he would ever get his memory back. I wish there was more to the story so i could know what happened. I love that even though he got what he wanted not everything was what he expected.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a really great story and I love your well developed imagery as well! I love Olgah and how her beauty is described as such a beautiful character but even beauty doesn't have a happy ending all the time. It makes us think more about life as well and know that everything doesn't always have a happy ending. It gives us a great perspective of life and maybe showing people that high expectancies and great outcomes and happily ever afters don't always exist.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like that your story is not your traditional "and they all lived happily ever after" story. You bring out the fact that not everything turns out favorable, but people can still find bliss in other unexpected places.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I loved how your story had such an unexpected ending. I felt so bad for Steve, especially towards the end. Great job in terms of showing rather than telling! Well done overall. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Don't we all wish ! It sounded more like Steve was the crazy one not really olghan. I really liked how the setting of their date sounded, so sweet and romantic. Poor Steve.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love how you used a lot of figurative language. Also I like how you had an unexpected twist where Steve's perfect girl was no longer all that perfect

    ReplyDelete
  9. How tragic! I wonder what the beginning of their relationship was like? Why does Olga demand to pay? I wonder how you could have developed these characters more? Does Olga know of his accident? I am left with many questions!

    ReplyDelete